My Livestreaming Metaphysics & Gossip Became an Internet Sensation Ch. 113

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It was just about to curse him out, but the moment it looked into Jiang Yiqing's eyes, its momentum instantly died. It shrank back a little, giving him a pitiful look. "Boss... can you let me go? I really didn't do anything..."

Before Jiang Yiqing could respond, Zhuang Kangyu—who'd been oh-so-concerned about Xu Kaida—suddenly popped up next to the still-sleeping man. One look at his swollen, slapped-up face and Zhuang couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Pffft—oh man, Xu Kaida looks like a whole pig's head! And he still hasn't woken up? Hahaha! I'm dead!"

The koi, still trying to act innocent, glanced back at Jiang Yiqing and shrank even further under his gaze.

Mrs. Xu tried to salvage her husband's dignity and quickly added, "He's not asleep. He was hypnotized."

The koi's guilt doubled, and its eyes practically watered as it looked up at Jiang Yiqing again.

Jiang Yiqing raised a brow. "Wake him up."

The koi didn't dare disobey. It obediently flicked its tail—splash! A wave of cold water landed right on Xu Kaida's face.

"I didn't have any better way... cold water works," it said sheepishly, waving its little fins like see? I'm innocent.

Jiang Yiqing's lips twitched. He had a very strong suspicion this fish did that on purpose. He just didn't know how Xu Kaida had managed to piss it off so badly.

Zhuang Kangyu, meanwhile, looked at the sopping, miserable mess that was Xu Kaida and let out another helpless snort. "Pfft—hahaha! This is gold. Totally worth the trip!"

Cold water dripping down his face, Xu Kaida groggily came to. He wiped his cheek, wincing at the sting and the faintly fishy smell of the water. Still dazed, eyes not yet open, he mumbled, "So... did you catch the water ghost?"

He really shouldn't have said that.

The koi immediately lost its mind. "You're the water ghost! Your whole family is water ghosts!"

Xu Kaida blinked open his eyes—then froze when he saw the fish trapped in a floating water orb. For a second, he thought he was dreaming.

"Wha... What's going on?" he turned to Mrs. Xu, confused.

Mrs. Xu quickly explained the situation in a low voice. Meanwhile, Jiang Yiqing looked at the koi, expression turning serious. "All right. Talk. Why were you messing with them?"

The koi felt totally wronged. "I wasn't messing with them on purpose! I'm not that bored, okay? They invited me into their home, then treated me like garbage! Threw me in with a bunch of uncultured, brainless fish—ugh! I was just trying to teach them a little lesson!"

Once Xu Kaida understood the situation, he relaxed a little. If it had really been a water ghost, he would've been scared. But a fish? Even if it was a weird one, it wasn't that scary. His courage returned, and he grumbled, "You are a fish. What's wrong with me putting you with the others?"

"I'm not an ordinary fish! I'm a spirit guardian! A house deity!" the koi snapped.

If it weren't for the fact that they'd summoned it and signed a contract, meaning it couldn't just leave at will, it would've been long gone already.

"Spirit guardian?" Jiang Yiqing stroked his chin. "If I remember right, aren't the five classic house spirits the fox, weasel, hedgehog, snake, and rat?"

Yup. The "Five Great Spirits." Never heard of a koi being one of them.

"Times are changing, okay?" the koi huffed. "I'm a trailblazing koi guardian, what's it to you?"

It glared. "How was I supposed to know I'd be so unlucky, ending up with this family?"

Honestly, you couldn't even blame the koi for being upset. House deities were supposed to be worshipped. But it had been shoved into a backyard pond with a bunch of mindless goldfish and had to fight for food every day. It was tragic.

Even Jiang Yiqing was momentarily lost for words. The koi's childlike voice just made it sound even more pitiful.

Zhuang Kangyu, meanwhile, stared at Xu Kaida like he was the dumbest guy alive. "Man... you got lucky and summoned a house guardian, and you actually pissed it off? If it were me, I'd have built a shrine by now."

Xu Kaida shrank a little under the judgmental stares from everyone, trying to defend himself. "How was I supposed to know it wasn't just a regular koi?"

To be fair, he was the one who brought the golden koi home.

Well, technically, he thought he was just buying a pretty fish.

That day, on his way home, he passed a narrow alley and spotted a kid holding a fish tank. Inside was a golden koi, its shimmering tail glowing under the sunlight—absolutely stunning.

Xu Kaida was instantly drawn to it. He walked over and asked the kid if the koi was for sale.

The child looked him over and shook their head. "It's not for sale—it's for inviting."

Xu Kaida thought the kid was being weirdly mystical, but hey, no way was he gonna argue with a child. So he played along and said, "Fine, I'll invite it." The kid nodded, finally satisfied, then listed all the stuff needed for the "invitation."

Xu Kaida felt it was a hassle and offered to pay instead. The kid scrunched their nose in disapproval. "No. You have to use those things."

What could he do? He really did like that koi. His estate already had a pond full of fat, spoiled koi—just proof of how obsessed he was. But this one? Beautiful, but skinny and pitiful-looking. He had to take it home and fatten it up.

That settled it. He obediently gathered all the items the kid mentioned.

The child kept their word and handed over the koi, rattling off a bunch of "important instructions." Xu Kaida, of course, didn't take any of it seriously. He figured the kid was just cosplaying some Taoist monk or something. No way was he buying into that nonsense.

Once he got the koi home, he did briefly consider putting it in a separate tank—it was so scrawny, he didn't want the plump koi in the pond to bully it. But then he thought, Just one fish alone? Kinda sad. So in the pond it went.

And not long after that, he completely forgot about the whole thing.

The golden koi, meanwhile, was not pleased. Feeling neglected and disrespected, it began hypnotizing Xu Kaida nightly—just to give him a solid beatdown.

Mrs. Xu only got caught in the crossfire because, well, she shared a bed with him.

And really, the koi was being nice about it. If it had been a more powerful house guardian, the entire Xu family would've been in chaos by now.

Xu Kaida looked totally guilty now, holding his slapped, swollen cheek. "You could've at least warned me."

If he'd known it wasn't an ordinary koi, he never would've treated it that way.

All credit goes to the original author
Feel free to pinpoint us if there are any grammar error or typos
Please don't use Guazi's translations to re-translate in other languages

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